How not to drag your child into an adult matter

A child should not have to carry the conflict

A child should not be a messenger, a witness to private accusations, or the person responsible for an adult's emotions.

What not to say

• "Tell your mum or dad...",
• "It's his/her fault...",
• "Choose me",
• "Say it in court",
• "You don't love me, since...".

What you can say

• "These are matters for the grown-ups.",
• "You don't have to choose a side.",
• "I'm here, and I remember.",
• "I love you no matter what is happening."

When your child asks

Answer briefly, without the details of the conflict. A child doesn't need to know the case file to feel that the adult is steady.